"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
