Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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