I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
