Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I hate all girls vehemently.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
