Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
