you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
