If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
