On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
