Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
