I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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