no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
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you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
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Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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