sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
