she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
