What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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