can u get pink eye on your cock?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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