I'm sorry my penis didn't work
wanna go halves on a baby?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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