Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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