David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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