covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
