What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
