I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize