How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
