He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
