he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize