bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
