i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
