Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
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Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
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Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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