Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize