we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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