Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
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And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
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Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.