Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.