My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
