The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
