I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Randomize