pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
