And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
