apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
