im gay
i know
yea but for you.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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