Barsexuality is the new black.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
