a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?