So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
