I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...