he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized