At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!