great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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