She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he was CRYING into my vagina
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
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She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
