: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
