Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
