Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
please don't ironically join a cult
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