clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
