I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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