So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
