Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
