Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
