It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
