***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
