You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
