her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
