so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize