So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're making bets on your personal life
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize