Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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