I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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