All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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