i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize