That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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